My first born.

Two days ago Nadiah, my first born turned 25. She is still in university pursuing her interest. Though she has another interest now I'm glad that she is able to focus on graduating. When I was 25, I was expecting her. Since she was a toddler she was independent, insisting to doing things herself. She is a fast leaner. Her first english word was fish. Nadiah was three years old then. Her favourite book was this child encyclopedia with a volume on fishes. So much was her interest in sea life that in her primary school she did a project which was about anemones. Now her interest is on the human anatomy. Nadiah entered playschool when she was about four years old. I remembered her wearing a pair of light orange floral 'baju kurung' with a small batik headscarf carrying a small wicker bag. She looked so adorable. On her first day to playschool she insisted that I do not walked her to the door. She made me stopped at the gate and I watched her confidently met her teachers and entered the school. With your first born there are so many first experiences, cherished moments. I was a full time mom and I was there throughout my daughters growing time. Nadiah has three other sisters. I made a choice to be a full time mom. I had a wonderful time and many many splendour things of my life. Nadiah went to boarding school at the age of sixteen. So sweet sixteen that she attracted quite a few admirers. One of them manage to win her heart and they are a couple since last year. She has grown into a beautiful lady. She is a wonderful sister to her younger siblings. She is very caring towards her grandparents. She is a good companion to my sister when shopping! She is affectionate to her uncles. She is the big sister to her cousins. She is my friend....Nadiah, my dear first born, Allah bless you.  

Gentle Rose

Her husband calls her Grace. Among us, her friends she is known as Rose. She is medium built, slender a soft spoken lady. Fair complexion with short sassy hair. She is very thoughtful and she phrases her sentences very well when speaking. Rose is very observant and she only speaks when necessary. She would give much thought before speaking. She makes good eye contact when talking to. A conscientious character as I would describe her...Rose with her son and daughter left for Morocco two weeks ago to be with her husband. She called me from the airport before boarding. Telling me to take good care of myself, telling me she shall miss me, telling me life will be kind to me eventually, trust in God, telling me she asked God to bless me. I could not speak, I was crying, I could not contain myself, I was sobbing. Three days before her departure date Rose arranged for a small gathering for a group of us. We had breakfast and was served 'nasi lemak'. Rose had a friend to cater for the food. One Saturday before the farewell gathering I bought Rose some souvenirs. Since she enjoys reading novels and loves cooking, naturally I gave her books relating to her interest. To remind myself of her I got the same cooking book for my keeping. I was in tears when jotting down  some compliments in the books then wrapping them.... We hugged each other tightly, looking into each others eyes, crying because we both know that we would not be seeing each other again. I have many friends, only a few are dear to me but Rose is especially close to me in her own way. I guess we are both close to each other because we are both survivors. Rose is a cancer survivor while I am a survivor in lives' matters. We feel for each other. We both endure the sadness, the bitter painful difficult phases life laid for us...'Rose, it was a pleasant surprise when you handed me the picture of both of us. I miss you, Gentle Rose'.

On your mark.......

'Ayomat get set go'! My sister likes to play run with her friends. They were in kindergarten then. Young age learning the english language. They sprinted from one end to the other. She would pretend  she's a sprinter running in a race. Her friends  and her would form a straight line. Each bending placing their hands on the line they drew before a race.  Imitating those sprinters in the actual races. My sister was the leader in the pack. She would make sure that she gave the cue to run. Confidently she'd shout 'Ayomat get set go'! Off they went racing to the finish line. Most of the races I would win, much to my sister's annoyance. Since I am taller with longer legs and eight years her senior, I was sort of a bully. Yes, I would join in at the very last minute when they had started.  Now when we reminiscence those racing years we laugh at the phrase 'Ayomat get set go'! When it should have been 'on your mark get set go'. Until today when we, us siblings and nieces want to race or finish a challenge, we'll shout 'Ayomat get set go'! And we'll laugh and laugh and laugh till our stomach aches...

Precious moments

'My parents dote my children to the extent of spoiling them', sighs a mother to her friend. Almost every parent have that worry that their parents give to much attention to the grandchildren. I have a question to forward. Why do you think grandparents react in those manners towards their grandchildren? We, like other beings in this world grow old. We age, more so are our aging parents, soon will leave this world. Leaving those who are very dear to them. Leaving those they love with every bit of their soul. Every moment is precious. Every moment is spent to the fullest. Every moment must be filled with joy. The fulfilling joy comes from being with their offspring and grandchildren. Not a moment wasted. The day will come, the grandmother or grandfather returns to The Almighty. The day when they will no longer be able to see they grandchildren whose eyes potrays so much love for the grandparents. All grandchildren loves their grandparents unconditionally. The grandchildren are affectionate towards their grandparents, much to the joy of our parents....I realised this sometime ago but the understanding is most only recently. My mother had to have a mitral valve replacement surgery. The times before the surgery was with so much anxiety, then came the moments immediately after the surgery. More anxiety. All her grandchildren were with her throughout those crucial moments. I prayed hard for God to give us more time to be together. Mother is now recuperating very well. She looks forward to spoil her grandchildren with her good cooking!

My father taught me how to fish....

It was in the year 1970, I was 8 years old. Father was in the navy and he was the Royal Malaysian Navy Liaison Officer in Penang. We stayed in the quarters provided in the perimeter of KD Sri Pinang at The Esplanade. The bungalow was literally built in the sea opposite Fort Cornwallis. In the morning i see dolphins swimming in the sea not far off from our home. Ships sailed pass miles distance away towards Penang Harbour, approaching from Mukah Head.  Gunung Jerai  can be clearly seen. The RMAF airplanes taking off and land at their airbase in Butterworth were not missed.......I would follow father to fish whenever possible. There's abundance of fish in the sea near the base. Fish like Garoupa, 'jenahak', 'siakap batu', small green 'ikan todak' (loads of them, by the buckets when in season), crabs and many more. Kedah pier is beside the base and many people came to fish, never going home empty handed.......my fishing rod was a long thin bamboo which makes good fishing rods. Father taught me how to tie the fish hook and weights, He often took me along to buy worms at Weld Quay. There were many shops selling fishing items along the road. The shops were managed by the local chinese. The last time I was in Penang, the shops still exist. The worms are mixed with sawdust and it has a distinct smell. A smell that is emitted when the worms are mixed in soaked sawdust. The smell of sawdust more prominent. Passing by the shops during my last visit to Penang, brought to my sense that familiar smell.....Strange that I did not get squeamish when holding the worms when 'fixing" them to the hook. Guess I am a natural. Fishing was easy and fun. The first fish I caught was a ' siakap batu' about the size of a dinner plate. Imagine the excitement of an 8 year old landing her first fish. Jumping, hopping and screaming with joy. I graduated to catching garoupas, crabs and sometimes pulling in rubbish from the sea!  1971 father was transfered to Woodlands, Singapore. And my next fishing adventures were when we moved to Labuan, Sabah. Those were great times, fishing. Fishing on boats out in the sea. During those fishing trips, father and me had some of our great moments.

A Father

We, my brother and me were waiting our dear mother undergoing, mitral valve replacement surgery in IJN. While browsing through the newspaper he asked, 'akak bila father's day,' ( sis when is father's day ). That question reminded me of a drama I watched on tv.............A son wanted to participate in a badminton tournament. He wanted to win and become champion. He wanted a new racket as he believed it will enable him to win. The father is a labourer with a company in his village. To fulfil his son's wish, he took a partime job carrying fish baskets from the fishing boats to land. His effort held him late into the nights which worries his wife as he already has a cough. The son broke his piggy bank but the savings is not enough. He whines for the new racket. A couple of days later the father handed him the money for the racket. One night the son while admiring his new racket overheard the mother saying, ' abang, kita orang miskin, kita tak mampu sakit. Bila sakit berlarutan payah sembuh.' ( my dear husband, we are poor we cannot afford to get sick ). The father's cough has worsened. He looked and stroked the new racket. After dinner the next day the son stood in front his coughing father opened the father's palm and placed the money from which he sold his new racket. The son said,' Bapak saya tidak perlu raket baru untuk jadi juara.' ( father I do not need a new racket to win. ). The father said the money is yours son and yours to keep. The father looked lovingly at the son and said,' kau simpan duit ini, ini duit kamu, bapak seronok bila kau seronok, bapak suka sekali bila keluarga seronok.' ( I am happy when my family is happy ).........I remembered a friend once mentioned the same phrase.

Numbering....

Have any of you call your children by numbers. I do. With only my first born and second it was never a problem. Nadiah and Nafisah. Then I had my third followed by my fourth, Nasihah and Nazifa. When only one of them or two is around it was easy. Should I need any of my daughters I would just call their names. Nadiah please set the table, Nadiah, have you done your homework, Nafisah where is the scissors, Nafisah, the dishes need washing....Nasihah, Nazifa, this and that and it goes on. In case you have not notice my daughters' names begin with "Na' with the fourth alphabet 'I'. Confusion begins when all four are around. I would have their names mixed up when calling out for any of them. Funny isn't it? That I the mother could mess up. My siblings too would sometimes have the names called for the wrong person. They would complain why do I named their nieces as such. Well, what do I do, yes, I decided to call them by numbers. Nadiah, number one. Nafisah number two. Nasihah number three. Nazifa number four. So the next time you happen to be in public space and hears  a mother calling 'number two' in a group of charming ladies, yes that would be us........